Nutty Neighbor

I was out for an evening walk the other day when I heard someone panting behind me. A middle-aged woman wearing a Bohemian skirt and sneakers was quickly at my side, walking in stride with me - beat for beat. I'll call her Jean. "Those balloons are so ugly," she said in an agitated tone pointing to the 4 white balloons tied to the For Rent sign in front of our apartment complex. "I called the office to complain. You know, some Mexican puts them out every day. I see them do it. They must be celebrating some Mexican holiday 'cause they always use Mexican colors. Uck. Why don't they put out pink ones on Valentines day? Something festive to mix it up. They always choose the ugliest colors. I'm Canadian. I guess I'm just not use to them."

Them? Was she referring to the balloons or the Mexicans?

The second time I encountered Jean was in the parking garage. She was unloading groceries out of her suburban when she saw me step out of my car. She glanced over at me, "Don't buy Arrowhead water at Safeway. It tastes like pond water. You know, I took it right back."

"Thanks for the tip," I said.

Now I see Jean walking often. I think she walks about 5 laps around the block every night. I assume this because once she simply hollered at me. "One more to go!" Sometimes I avoid her when I'm out walking too, casually slipping to the other side of the street or just turning around. Tonight she was headed right for me and we caught eyes before I could shift my direction. "Someone ought to move that. Someone's gonna trip over it." She was talking about the large blue postal box on the corner of the sidewalk. "I was out just before dark and wasn't paying attention and almost tripped," she huffed and continued walking past me, not waiting for my response, as usual. I turned to watch her, just for a second, and imagined her out there, right before dark, sidestepping acorns and blaming the squirrels.